


Talks

by Eshisakka



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), clingy duo, soft, why do i make them cry in literally every fic i write of them???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:54:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28730775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eshisakka/pseuds/Eshisakka
Summary: "Hey... can I ask you about... the pillar...?"It had been long since Tubbo saw it. But even after Tommy had come back, alive and well, it had not left Tubbo's mind. He had to know.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 10
Kudos: 265





	Talks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! I'm here with another fic :) just.... wanted to imagine this conversation,, I'm so soft for these two. Also, this is set after they defeat Dream so, 
> 
> 🦀 the green bastard is gone 🦀 Now these two can actually have some peace <3
> 
> Also, I drew this comic first: https://mcmoth.tumblr.com/post/640144704906969088/talks It's really small but I think it sets the atmosphere, so yeah, if ya wanna see that!
> 
> Anyways, be safe about the topics discussed, be well, and hope you like it!!

A sunset. A flower field. Spring bugs buzzing in the air, a bee returning to it's hive on a lonely tree. Two hands, intertwined.

Tubbo didn't want to interrupt the quiet. The peace was nice. They haven't felt peace in so long, it felt too precious to waste. But…

“hey…”

The thought would not leave his mind.

“Can I ask you about…”

He had to know.

“…the pillar…?”

Immideately, he could feel the shift in mood. Almost as if an axe had been thrown inbetween their bodies, dangerous. Almost as if Tommy was suddenly caught in strings, suddenly a marionette, so still he struggled to see him breathe. So silent it filled Tubbo's heart with even more dread, a tightness around his chest, throat, mind, willing his imagination to not go astray. He just had to know.

“I… t-the pillar?”

Tubbo nodded, curtly. “It… I saw one. When I came to visit you, I- e-everything was blown up, and there was… there was this tall pillar….” He forced his voice to work, distantly acknowledging his hand was wrapping too tight around the other's. Slowly, painstakingly, like rolling a boulder uphill, he continued. “I… I thought you had-…”

He couldn't get the words out.

Tommy was silent.

“Oh…”

The sound made Tubbo finally glance at his friend, not liking the vacant look in his eyes.

Something vulnerable flashed in them, then, however. Quietly, Tommy muttered, “You actually did come to see me.”

Tubbo wanted to cry. “Of course.”

Their eyes met, then, for a hesitant second, before Tommy turned away again, his free hand tearing through grass. “I…”

Tubbo waited.

“I…” he barely said anything, but the choke in his voice was audible nonetheless. Tommy looked up at the sky, heaving a sigh, and then, quietly, faintly, told him, “It's fine.”

Tubbo furrowed his brows. “What?” The buzzing has still not left. At this point, he couldn't tell whether the sound of it was the bees or just him. “But… no, what was the tower for… then? …w-what. What do you mean?”

Tommy did not answer. Merely turned away even more. His hand seemed to be subtly trying to slid out of the other's. Upon noticing, Tubbo just held on tighter. He was not letting go. “Tommy. You can't… you can't just brush this away.”

Despite the fear eating him away, he had to know. “Please…. Please just answer…”

He heard Tommy breathe. Then, he saw Tommy shake. Then, he heard Tommy speak. “I…”

His voice was far too weak. Far too weak for the Tommy he used to know.

A bird hopped from one branch to another. A drop of past rain dripped from a leaf and hit the ground. The sun, ever the same, was red and warm.

Too warm.

“I wanted to jump-"

_Oh god._

Everything stilled. Nothing could move in the moment. All that Tubbo could feel was his own thoughts racing, his own heart beating, his lungs filled with tar and cold metal in his stomach.

He knew. He knew.

He was sent back to the moment he realized, the moment he thought he had lost his best friend. The days passed in numb shock. The weeks spent in agonising mourning. Wallowing in violent regret. It all came back, and he knew he had expierenced this kind of terror before.

So why did it hurt so much still? Why did the horror feel new all over again?

A hand squeezed his own. He didn't squeeze back.

Maybe it was cause he thought it was over. That it had all just been a misunderstanding, that it had just been a random tower. Tommy had turned out to be alive, after all. He was safe. He was alive. He was fine.

But he'd been wrong.

He hadn't even realised there were tears streaming down his eyes until he came back to the present. Wet against his cheeks, birds singing in the trees. Two hands on his shoulders. A blurry, familiar figure in front of him.

He threw his arms around Tommy in a hug.

The hug was quickly reciprocated, and Tubbo gripped the other's shirt, holding on tightly, afraid of the boy in his arms disappearing if he didn’t hold him well enough. His Tommy. _His Tommy_. He'd almost lost his Tommy.

The realization was too painful to express through words. He just clung on tighter.

“I'm sorry.”

His heart broke only more at those words, feeling frustrated, angry, at the fact that Tommy felt the need to say them at all.

“Don't. _Don't_. You have nothing to… _god_.”

There was a moment of stillness, of fidgeting, before the embrace around Tubbo tightened and a face buried in his hair.

The words choked him. He had to let them out. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Tommy. I'm sorry I wasn't there, I'm so sorry you ever felt that way… I-I couldn't. I can't live without you, please, don’t- I’m so _sorry_ -"

“shhh, Tubbo, it's okay-”

“It's _not._ ”

Tubbo heaved. If he wasn't shaking so badly himself, he'd feel how unstable the boy around him was as well. But, he didn't need to, he already knew. Tubbo already knew. And He wished it had never come to this point.

“ _It’s not okay_.”

Tommy didn't reply.

They sat like that for what felt like both hours and mere seconds. Time didn't matter when you were in your friend's embrace. The rays of the sun turning more dim was the only sign time had passed meaningfully.

Tubbo breathed. “I-I mean…”

He picked his words carefully. Tommy deserved to be treated gently. “I mean, it is okay. If you feel that way… I mean, it's not, but- what I'm trying to say is, you shouldn't feel ashamed… but, _god_ , that's… it's not okay that you even came to that point, Tommy. It's not okay what h-happened to you.”

The head in his hair nuzzled closer, the hands around him rubbing soft circles. “…I know… I’m so-“ he stopped. Resumed. “I… I don't… feel quite that way anymore. So… don't worry.”

Tubbo left out a bitter laugh. “like hell I won't worry.” After swallowing the lump in his throat, he choked out. “But… i-if you ever do… feel that way again… you'll tell me, right…? Please, Tommy.”

It took a few seconds, but the nod did come. “Of course.” Tommy hugged Tubbo closer. “And you come to me if you feel bad, too. Hand in hand relationship.”

Tubbo smiled. “Yeah. Of course.”

And as the last of the sun slowly disappeared beyond the clouds and underneath the edge of their world, the two clinging onto each other still, it couldn't be said that things were easier now.

But at least they felt lighter. At least, they still had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and for any kudos. Every comment is monumentally appreciated, even if I forget to reply (sorry!) <3


End file.
